Friday, August 26, 2005

What's In a Name?

Shakespeare’s Juliet asked, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.”

As some of you may know, I am currently hard at work writing a book on the history of the National Football League; more specifically on who the greatest quarterback of all time is. Unfortunately, I will not be answering that question in this post. However, what I will be doing is probably more entertaining. What follows is a list of some of the more interesting names I have come across while doing my research. Enjoy.

Dirty Names:
Dick Shiner- yep that’s his name
Dick Wood- ditto
Dick Butkus- everyone has heard of him
Lynn Dickey
Chuck Long- in the context of the previous 4 he fits right in; also runner-up to Bo Jackson for the Heisman Trophy
Todd Philcox
Boobie Clark- real name is Charles

Not who you think:
Randy Johnson- bad quarterback not ace pitcher
Bob Jones
Sam Adams- the Brew Master

No Relation:
Don Trull- not Jethro’s brother
Neil Lomax- no relation to Bernie
Terry Nugent- can’t play guitar
Eric Wilhelm- not related to the Kaiser

Steve Sloan
Bob Berry
Doug Dressler
Dan Darragh
Larry Lawrence
Gale Gilbert
Mark Malone
Mike Moroski
Ken Karcher
Bubby Brister
Tom Tupa
Cody Carlson
Steve Stenstrom
Moses Moreno

King Hill- middle name not ‘of’; actual name Stuart King Hill
King Corcoran- James Sean Patrick Corcoran; I would have gone by King too
Terry Nofsinger
Cotton Davidson
Larry Rakestraw
Tobin Rote

Turk Schonert- was young at one point
David Archer- not as accurate (50.8% completion) as his name would suggest
Stoney Case- sounds like a Flinstones’ character
Spergon Wynn
Milt Plum
Alge Crumpler
- I didn’t like him at first, but he grows on you
Clyde Goodnight
Weldon Humble


For Ro:
Leo Hart

For Young James:
John Hufnagel- son, Duane (WR), would lead Idaho Vandals to the top of college football under the tutelage of an offensive genius

For Felipe:
John Friesz- everybody chill


Anonymous said...

Senor Melton-
I do greatly appreciate the Friesz reference. When will he be in the Hall of Fame?? WHEN?!!!! Anyways, this book about the greatest QB to ever live, I must say little research needs to go into answering that question. Its obvious.....JOHN ELWAY!!!!! (or perhaps Scott Mitchell). If its not either of those two, then so help me God I will shove some chopsticks so far up your nose you'll never smell again. Good day sir.
The late Spiro Agnew

Casey said...

hey bro, this seems very nicely written with lots of big words that a Wake Forest student doesnt even know what they mean, but keep up the good work! I think you did a very nice job composing the article no matter what other bastards say and i appreciate your hard work to educate people like me who know nothing about sports!
I <3 you!

Pat said...

1. Joe Montana. He's got the best statistics among the guys who won multiple championships, and the most championships among the guys who've got great stats.

2. Bart Starr. Everybody else when stacked up against Montana is lacking somewhere. Starr had great stats (for his time), plus five titles.

3. Johnny Unitas. Dan Marino with three championships.

Elway was a fine player but would not make my top ten, when you consider the credentials of Luckman, Baugh, Graham, etc.