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Statistically Speaking: NBA Preview

Thursday, November 03, 2005

NBA Preview

Without further adieu, here is my NBA preview. Nah, I’m just kidding. This column is hereby dedicated to why the NBA pretty much sucks (with the occasional exception of the Finals).

Why college basketball is better than the NBA

1) Upsets
The NCAA playoff format is one-and-done. So you are guaranteed to see some team you’ve never heard of (normally with an extra direction or ‘state’ somewhere in their name), coached by a man who looks like he sells used cars, beat an established college basketball power. In the NBA playoffs which are best of 7-series, you may occasionally see a 5 seed knock off a 4 seed, but usually there are no remarkable upsets.

2) Shooting
In college basketball, this word evokes images of players such as Bryce Drew or Kyle Korver nailing a jump shot from the wing. In the NBA, this is usually a reference to an NBA player’s experiences at a night club following the game. Cuz it sure ain’t about jump shots. You’re more likely to see Peter Jackson on the cover of GQ that an NBA player with a solid jump shot.

3) Every Game Counts
In college basketball, for the most part, every game is crucial to their standing. A win or loss can mean the difference in qualifying for the NCAA tournament. Even for those teams that are assured a place at the NCAA table, each game determines what seed they will receive in the tourney. In the NBA regular season, there are maybe 15-20 important games. New Jersey at Milwaukee in mid-January, now that’s a game I’ll tivo Desperate Housewives to see.

Why Major League Baseball is better than the NBA

1) Summer
Hey, I’ll be the first to tell you that baseball can be a rather boring game. But so is an NBA regular season game. At least when you attend a baseball game in person, there is a very good chance that the game will be outside, the weather will be nice, and the fairer sex will be dressed in accordance. When you attend an NBA game, you are inside, it’s the dead of winter, and who knows, you may get attacked in the stands.

2) Scuffles
In baseball, when teams get into bean ball wars, the benches may clear, players may insult each others genealogy and family history, but punches are usually never thrown. And even when they are, its usually something hilarious. In the NBA, when players fight, careers get ended, playoff series get altered, and balding coaches embarrass themselves.

Why college football is better than the NBA

1) Tailgating
A grand tradition, even at football powers such as Wake Forest. Has there ever been an incidence of tailgating (or any sort of camaraderie) at an NBA game?

2) Emotion
This is what college football is all about. Family allegiances, rivalries, fight songs, Labor Day weekend, New Year’s Day games, polls, arguments, even the BCS. The NBA has none of that.

Why the NFL is better than the NBA

1) Schedule
The NFL’s schedule is set up perfectly. Games are played 2 days a week, complete with a week of build-up and talk. NFL fans receive sensory overload on Sundays from 1:00-7:00, then get an opportunity to relax with a game on Sunday night to start the work week. Plus on Monday night, they get a game to appease them until the following weekend. NBA teams play 82 games. These games occur on all 7 days of the week. Teams play 2-3 games a week, so there is no opportunity for build-up, and the season seems to go on forever.

2) Playoffs
More than half (16) of the NBA’s 30 teams make the playoffs. In the NFL, only 12 out of 32 teams make the playoffs. The NFL’s postseason is played out in a month’s time and culminates in the biggest American sporting event. The NBA’s postseason takes 2 and a half months to complete and by the end everyone is ready for it to be over.

3) The Draft
The NBA had to constitute a lottery-style draft system to prevent terrible teams from tanking games at the end of the season in hopes of garnering the draft’s top pick. The NFL’s draft is a 2-day circus that is somewhat entertaining to watch and has the always follically-superb Mel Kiper Jr.

So with that out of the way, here’s to ignoring the NBA until the first weekend in April when the NCAA tourney has just ended, baseball is just getting underway, and the NBA playoffs are still a few weeks from beginning.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Sapphyre Hollywood Johnson said...

Very interesting story about the punch. That's unfortunate. Your arguments on how lame the NBA is are on point. I agree with you totally. As a cheerleader, the team and I always liked football better. Basketball season could never compare to all the hype and excitment at football games. By the way, who is that coach/person you had as the used car salesman?

I like your new heading :)

P.S- You should tivo Desperate Housewives anyway!

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